10.19.2010

Spotlights and Puzzlements (sigh)

Okay. I'm sure you've noticed that I have changed the name of the blog. This is actually due to selfish reasons. I felt the name of "Family...." was misleading because I won't necessarily be writing about family all of the time, whether in the past, present or future. I will sometimes be writing about myself. You will need to bear with me. In fact, throughout this entire process (and hopefully I will have a nice, long blogging career) I am certain that the background, font and title will be changed at least a few more times.

If you follow along with the blog, you will find that the topics will vary just as much. You see, my mind settles on things. Lots of things. For example: someone was rude at the grocery store, or the princess said something cute (again), or Orion's football team won another game! (Go Titans!!) Lots of little things come up and I think "Hmmm, maybe I could write about that..." I often think of clever tidbits to say and share with you, but then...........

I second-guess myself.

And that's a problem.

I'm always questioning my decisions. It's very tiring.

Now, I know I am not the only one here who has this 'problem', so I know you won't have any problems relating.

So now that we're all admitted to being self-conscious to some degree, let us consider this: Maybe it's not a 'problem'.

Maybe it's a built-in safeguard to keep us from starting an argument, or to keep us from offending someone, or to keep us from making someone unhappy......ummm, yeah. You get my point.

Now, ask yourself' "Do I care if I offend someone or make someone unhappy?"

Well, of course we care. But really... how much?

Answer: Enough to keep us safe, warm and nestled into the dark outside edges of the spotlight. We naturally step aside and let the children have the spotlight (or what/whomever your 'spotlight' is). Don't get me wrong. I love my kids and certainly would do anything for them. Of course I want to see them be successful in what they choose to do and or become. I want them to shine.

Now, try this on for a minute...

Do we want to stand behind them or hide behind them?

Wow. That's a shocking question for someone like me. I mean, is that what I've been doing for the past 17 years? Hiding? That's a bit scary. What in the world am I going to do when they are all grown up and moved out and they have families of their own?

Needless to say, this topic has given me a lot to think about (and I hope you, too). I may not have a lot of talent, but I am striving to stick my toe into the spotlight, now, rather than waiting until the kids have left the nest. I look at creating this blog as my debut. By no means my opus. I'll save that for a little later. I have had some encouraging comments and I plan to keep charging ahead. Maybe not full speed, but atleast it's in the right direction. I hope you all will support me, as I support all of you who may be facing the same puzzlements.

Love you! And keep the comments coming!